The Top 7 Dancefloor Record No-Nos

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I’ve been listening to 1000’s of dance records (from house music and beyond) every week as a routine for the past 13 years. Even though EDM and the culture has changed, there are still a lot of cliches and types of records that I hear over and over—and over—again and they still annoy the hell out of me. Here are my top 7 no-no’s for dance record selection.

7. Sex noises in the dance record...

Really? Are we on crystal meth at 7 am in an underground warehouse in Siberia? Well... I’m not and that’s why this is my #7 pet peeve for EDM. It’s uncomfortable for everyone and the only sex noises that I wanna hear are the ones that go down post-club experience.

6. Any dance song or mashup featuring Pitbull and Little John

Lil John and Pitbull mashups/remixes used to plague The Vegas dancefloors until EDM was adopted there around two years ago. Nowadays, perhaps you’ll hear the rookie mobile DJ play it in Tucson, Arizona but I have a feeling that like small pox, this dancefloor no-no is close to %100 irradication.

5. All EDM songs called Kazantip

Kazantip.... It’s a 90 day Ukrainian EDM festival that takes the phrase “getting weird” to a whole other level. Sounds great. Sounds amazing. Yeah I wanna be there, BUT does Beatport really need to stock 215 tracks called Kazantip? DJs... Get a little more creative with the song title!

4. Sex - O - Phone I mean Saxophone

In case you thought the 215 tracks called Kazantip was excessive, I’ll take #5 and raise you a 2960 tracks that have the word Sax in them. With clever (and of course I use this word loosely) track names like “Sax all Night,” “Sax Addict,” and “Sax Machine” it just brings me back to a simpler time when a man named Kenny G. ruled the charts.

3. Cheesy Re-works

Klaas is the master of these... Oh... What happened to him?

2. Songs that call out countries

Paris, Berlin, London, New York (do they even have EDM there anymore? #EastCoastDiss), Ibiza LA... STFU

1. Red Hot Chili Peppers remixes and DJs who play them

Anyone of my friends who’s partied with me knows that this is my #1 dancefloor no-no. Ever since Benny Benassi introduced “My Otherside” in 2008, uncreative DJs have plagued their sets with other producer’s even more awful renditions of this overrated track. I’ve probably walked off of more dancefloors to this song than ANY other song (Avicii “Levels” included).

So that’s my top 7 dancefloor no-no’s... Have any other valuable tidbits to add?