New Hardwell Track F*cking Sucks - The End of EDM? (Op-Ed)

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New Hardwell Track F*cking Sucks - The End of EDM? (Op-Ed)

So just to preface this opinion a bit… The staffers here at Magnetic Magazine have a wide variety of tastes in Electronic Music, everything from commercial to underground is covered to hopefully give our readers a full perspective of what’s out there.

We always strive to cover quality tunes first and foremost, as we do believe that all forms of music have good and bad tunes no matter what genre. Now that that’s out of the way, here we go...

So Hardwell is about as commercial as they come. We get it and we are fine with it. However, the new Hardwell track, “Sally”, got us so riled up that we just had write a second post about it.

The tune starts off ok. You simply think, oh another Hardwell track… ok, whatever. Then the magic starts and your ears begin to bleed, slowly at first, then they just gush blood. In fact our ears asked us to pour hot lead into them of out pure mercy. But we kept going for you, dear reader.

If the end of EDM had a soundtrack, this would be it. Replete with corny guitar riffs (when we say corny, we mean CORNY AS FUCK), shitty lyrics and a vocal that makes you immediately want to drive your car off a pier (or into a wall, whatever works).

With such thought-provoking and degrading gems as “She’s a dirty bitch…” and “I’ve been fucking Sally” spewed over and over relentlessly, it may qualify as the lamest chorus in the history of recorded music. We feel sorry for the vocalist, because if you weren’t a tampon already, you are now the worlds largest.

As a great music writer from Vice or Maximum Rock and Roll (can’t remember which) once said, “please shove this up the ass that it fell out of.”

Thank you, this has been a Magnetic Magazine Public Service Announcement.

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