7 Reasons Why Male DJs Should Not Take Their Shirts Off

Please put your shirts back on dudes
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Please put your shirts back on dudes
7 Reasons Why Male DJs Should Not Take Their Shirts Off

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Female DJs get a lot of shit if they spin topless. We feel that doing so compromises their integrity as an artist. If a girl DJ is showing off the sweater puppies sans sweater, her stock instantly plummets to stripper status and she loses all respect.

For some reason though, we remain silent when the men of EDM culture do it. Sure we may snicker behind their backs, but it seems to be an unfair double standard in the industry- shirtless male DJs still get booked and are able to maintain the title of “artist” for their careers.

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We are taking a stand  against this alarming trend. Here are 7 reasons why male DJs should not take off their shirts:

1. You Are At Work

Have you ever had a job where it was permissible to take your shirt off? (Gay DJs, Lifeguards and Professional Male Models excluded). Plus, there is no reason for it. Most clubs have AC now and last time we checked hairy man nipple was not sexy. Actually it's kind of offensive. We just want to hear you rock the dance floor. That is all.

2. Hygeine And Odor

If you’re really rockin’ the spot, it's safe to say you are sweating up a storm and smelling like Tim Tebow’s jock strap. Spare your fans and tour manager from potential body odor biohazards. Don’t believe it? Take a wiff of one of the sound guys. Now you see.

7 Reasons Why Male DJs Should Not Take Their Shirts Off

It's about to get weird. Really weird. 

3. You are probably not in shape

Human beings don’t thrive on a lifestyle that includes no sleep, endless travel and a diet that consists of excessive alcohol and special K (not the cereal). And when have you ever heard a girl say “I really like a man who has the parched, chiseled features of someone hooked on methamphetamine”?

4. It’s statement of your sexuality

Everyone will think you are gay. Nothing wrong if you are, but if you aren’t I don’t think you’ll want to face the consequences of false advertising. If you are gay then by all means please be you. Live!

5. Everyone is making fun of you

Ever see the gag gifts girls exchange at wedding showers? Penis straws and calendars of firemen with their shirts off. Both play on corny fantasies. Take your shirt off at gig and from this point on we’ll refer to you as DJ Fabio. Not a good look unless you want to end your career as the tour DJ for "Thunder From Down Under".

6. It's creepy

You’re not at the beach, bro. Just ask the ladies what they think of dudes who pose shirtless on Facebook or Tinder just to lure them to their rape cave. Sounds like the plot for a season premier episode of Law & Order: SVU.

7. It’s Just Bad Manners

There’s a reason for the “no shirt, no shoes, no service sign”. Maybe you're from the rural part of town, but were you really born in a barn? Your mama raised you better.