EDM Is So Lit Right Now: A Satirical Public Service Kind Of OpEd Rant

Coachella sucks, but EDC, DVBBS, Kanye West, Future Bass, Molly and Paris have one thing in common
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Coachella sucks, but EDC, DVBBS, Kanye West, Future Bass, Molly and Paris have one thing in common

Former Magnetic Managing Editor Anders Seefeldt takes to the keyboard to let you know that he is indeeed, not LIT and nor should you be. Enjoy this satirical rant, you will laugh, you might sniffle you might even get LIT. 

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Nothing is more lit than EDM right now. I don’t care what anyone says. Everywhere you look it’s just a fucking party. Girls, stage dives, girls named “Molly” (which is 100% pure btw), HOLY SHIP!. And dude, HOLY SHIP. So many girls on HOLY SHIP. Fucking lit ship. Of course this is just the tip, and this shit goes balls fvkcing deep. 

Napoleon Dynamite - EDM Is So Lit Right Now

I was at EDC the other year, which has like all the DJ Mag Top 100 DJs so you know it’s legit. I was basically taking shots with DVBBS on stage, which was pretty lit, but then Aoki busted out the cake and I got smacked in the face with a fucking banana somewhere. The music from these dudes is totally dead but they know how to throw an epic party. But that’s just part of it.

Last year at ULTRA I met so many people I got drunk and passed out. We were so fucking lit. But that’s exactly what this music is all about. It’s about making those human connections. But now it’s like the bvss dropped, we got turnt up and it’s time to get lit. 

EDM meme - EDM Is So Lit Right Now

No movement would be real without an underground scene, of course. That’s where these artists come in: SBTRKT, MSTRKRFT, NGHTMRE, 3LAU, SNBRN, KSHMR, LUMBERJVCK, CRNKN, SCRVP and Lit Lords (formerly SEVM). Plus Kygo, but tropical house is so fucking dead tho. Then there are guys like Carl Craig who actually still say “techno”. LOL, it’s called EDM, bro. The word techno is as dead as trap music. 

But the EDM fans are the best part. I mean, the girls at these shows tho. There’s even this one girl named Alison Wonderland who’s actually a DJ. I’ve never heard her stuff but I follow her on Facebook. PLUR. 

Now, I know a lot of you are thinking, if this guy knows so much about music, why doesn’t he talk about Coachella. The reason is because Coachella is so fucking mainstream now. If you want to hear the real underground shit, I gotta van in Hollywood with your name on the list. There’ll be no deep house tho. That shit is dead. 

Steve Aoki meme - EDM Is So Lit Right Now

So yeah, EDM is super popular but only because it's super lit. Pretty soon it’ll be so lit that deadmau5 and Yeezy will even have a track together. It’ll be so future. LIT AF. 

Basically, EDM is just epically dope. The people who don’t get it probably don’t even know who Marshmellow really is. EDM is just SO LIT. I mean, I don’t even know how else to describe it. 

Paris Hilton meme - EDM Is So Lit Right Now
Zoolander meme - EDM Is So Lit Right Now

This has been a public service announcement. Please do not be like this. 

The views and opinions expressed in this article are soley those of the original author. These views and opinions do not necessarily represent those of Magnetic Magazine, our staff, and/or any/all contributors to this site.