[Product Review] The Zeus Iceborn

The Zeus Iceborn is marketed as a product that can deliver the cool satisfaction you crave
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Sarah Southard
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The Zeus Iceborn is marketed as a product that can deliver the cool satisfaction you crave
Zeus Iceborn Vaporizer Accessory

The Zeus Iceborn in its natural habitat: ten years ago.

Correct me if I’m wrong - at some point in your young, undecided life, someone a little older, definitely bigger than you, who was into all the "cool" things stooped over you and tried (probably with some success) to convince you that cool was the way to be. The Zeus Iceborn is marketed as a product that can deliver just that: the cool satisfaction you crave.

Disclaimer: while this product does not promise to make you instantly popular, it does promise to effectively cool down your weed smoke. Cool smoke = better, much more pleasant smoking experience = more cool points. It's basic math.

zeus iceborn content box

Alright, folks, here's the down and dirty: The product retails for a not-so-cool $69.99 and comes packaged in a little black box. Inside the box, you find instructions, three heavy duty hoses, and a bucket that is used for filling the device with water and freezing it (how the smoke is actually cooled). After reading the first few lines of the instruction manual I quickly became disappointed in learning that this is simply an accessory to be used in conjunction with a vaporizer. It explains that the Zeus Iceborn is compatible with many different vaporizers, but nowhere on the outside packaging is it explained that you need another item in order for this product to function.

As cool as this smoking gadget may be, there just aren't enough people that still like to smoke old school vaporizers for this to be a hit. 

We are a society of instant gratification. Between waiting for the main chamber to freeze and heating up the vape box, the person who was preparing all of this is halfway into next week with the giant bong rip they just took. At this point, you would be better off finding the person you looked up to when you first started realizing what cool was and just asking them for their old vaporizer. 

Between the price (you are literally paying $70.00 for a plastic bucket with a lid and some hoses that could be found at your local hardware store) and the lack of necessary tools, the Zeus Iceborn just doesn't have what it takes to fit in with the cool crowd.