Another year, another Coachella and another weekend of parties...you know what this means...Team Fauxchella reunites for another journey to once again, party “Inside the Outside of Coachella.”
Thursday, Fauxchella Kick Off Night
The Annual Filter Yacht Club is the kickoff party for the Coachella masses every year and it felt like every single festivalgoer was in attendance this year. A mere hour after opening, the Yacht Club was jam packed with Fauxchellians* who were rabidly drinking up as much free beer and liquor laced with the new Red Bull editions as their drunken double-fisted hands could carry. Everywhere you turned, the bars were filled with lines of thirsty guests. And a party isn’t a party without a photobooth, compliments of Dr. Martens...
Pour all of that onto an energy-charged dancefloor featuring the DJ stylings of Misshapes, K.I.D.S., Channel One & Tres Dubois and you’ve got a solid formula for one hell of a raunchy and rambunctious evening of gyrating bodies.
Special thanks to V-Moda for the awesome ear protectors that kept us going the whole weekend…
Laws Of Fauxchella:Ear Protection = Good…later on in life...Hearing Aids = Bad
The performance stage on the other side of the Yacht Club where St. Lucia was performing had barely any standing room, as well.
Even the Aerie Lingerie’s sponsored viewing deck was filled with spectators lounging on pink bean bag chairs and head-boarded beds. Swag-rabid girls and even guys decimated the Aerie bra & panty swag supplies before 11:00 pm!!! Some folks were so determined to get some lacy chonies that they even ravaged Aerie’s decoratively displayed spider webs of bras and panties overhead and on the sides of their area…
Have you ever witnessed a lingerie melee? We did.
Free Booze + Lingerie = "panties on face" dude!
Laws Of Fauxchella:Drink Drink Drink but avoid being dragged out of any venue...tsk tsk...you must never be "THAT GUY/GIRL"
Overall, the night was an intoxicatingly fun balance of music, booze (maybe the booze tipped the scales) and good times to be remembered…it was nearing closing time so off we went on a long and arduous task back to our car with sleep as our most desired and wanted treasure.
*Fauxchellian: an individual that partakes in the outside frolics of Coachella.
Laws Of Fauxchella: after a night of Fauxchella dranking, drink lots of water before sleep!
Friday: Oh The Pounding Aching Heads…
After getting up from a much needed sleep, your fearless members of Team Fauxchella headed to our first Friday Fauxchella stop…The Hard Rock Hotel Music Lounge at the soon to be gone Hotel Zoso…Thanks to our friends over at BMF Media whom transformed a hotel into a mecca of visual, audible and palatable delights! They definitely went all out this year to trump last year’s (awesome) 2012 Hard Rock Hotel Music Mansion (to read about that click here).
Upon arrival to the hotel entrance, which was covered in various art installation pieces by Mr. Brainwash, we were ushered in front of the Hard Rock's media wall for photos with Lulu the daisy head dressed dromedary, our resident camel for the day...
Sooooo that's what they meant by “Camelchella”
After getting our VIP credentials, we were immediately greeted by delicious peach and strawberry Qream liquor cocktails poured over ice and garnished with fruit…to the left of us was a sunken lounge of soft squish places to sit while a DJ delivered some bootie grooving beats and pop shops began to give out everyone’s favorite Fauxchella item… swag!
A quick right turn and we all ventured upstairs to the VIP Gifting Suite…the holy grail of goodies. Talk about wow…the upstairs was an oasis of swag from many different vendors like Missguided, who hooked all the ladies of Team Fauxchella with super fun and sexy dresses, to tattooed barbers offering “shave and a haircut,” to actual free tattoos, to vaporizers from Ploom and headphones/speaker boxes from Jabra. Also onsite, providing music upstairs from various guest superstar DJs, was Pioneer with their new and upcoming technological wonders for DJs and wannabes to drool over…and of course booze booze booze…
(KH) The Travelocity Roaming Gnome, the cutest celeb there, also surprised us…
We were experiencing a welcomed overload of excess so we ventured down poolside where the mood was more relaxed and sun worshipping based. Complimentary snow cones laced with Corzo tequila were served to those in need of refreshment.
Our first Friday stop, proved to be a heavenly decadent oasis of indulgence and though we would have been more than happy to spend the whole day lounging by the pool, we had to venture off to the next Fauxchella stop…The Saguaro.
Heading over to the Saguaro was easy and quick and before heading in we had to make a quickie stop into the pop sugar pop up to charge up our phones which was the best idea ever.
Note to self: Fauxchella is home to the land of pop up shops!
The Saguaro, the party hotel of Palm Springs, definitely did not disappoint. In the lobby of the hotel Swatch had set up shop showcasing new neon colored watches and at every corner there were complimentary Perrier and bottle water tubs…
Laws Of Fauxchella:Hydrate Hydrate Hydrate…water is important but alcohol will do too.
If you haven’t been to the Saguaro, then you’re in for a bright and colorful treat. The large pool area is based in the center of the hotel and every balcony is adorned with bright oranges, reds, greens and purples…We entered the pool area and were greeted by a Forever 21 pop-up shop (Friday’s party sponsor) then over to the poolside where the magic was…it was packed with sun worshipping bikini clad bombshells and shirtless tatted guys gawking at those girlies… Sky Ferreira was holding it down on the decks and in the VIP area we planted ourselves in cooled out cabanas for some much-needed food, refreshments, rest and a disco beach ball.
Laws Of Fauxchella:the sun is an evil competitor, so don’t challenge it…you will lose…instead, rest, get shade and consume more booze.
Once the sun was done with its heated domination over the Saguaro pool, we collectively decided to retire our inebriated asses back to the hotel for some pool/Jacuzzi time and a nap, because the Friday night Hennessy x Details party was one not to be missed.
…The alarm screams out to wake up…
And we all get in gear to head out to the Hennessy x Details party of which we heard Nas would be hosting.
Fauxchella weekend is never complete without getting lost at least once on your way to a party. And quite honestly when Google maps sends you to the porch of a darkened ranch style home with do not disturb signs on the fence, you better believe frustrations arise. After driving up and down the right street but at the wrong location several times, we finally got it figured out. Parking at a high school, we jumped into a shuttle and off to the Hennessy x Details party we went. Walking in you couldn’t help but gasp in awe…this double-football field sized backyard was sprinkled with glowing teepees and giant orbs everywhere. Following a glowing path of paper bagged tea lights; we came across a Fatburger truck…Yes!!! And off in the distance…the Border Grill truck lay in waiting to serve…Later! Of course Hennessy kept us all alcoholically loopy with the most interesting concoctions of flavors mixed with its infamous cognac. Teepees were definitely the popular most sought after spots to chill as each and every one of them were filled to the brim with Fauxchellians and deliciously stanky smoke…
Laws Of Fauxchella:Smoke 'em if you got 'em…but don’t get caught nimrod.
As the night progressed the music stopped and Dev came on stage and dropped her hit singles coupled with her badass back-up singers/dancers. Surprisingly, I (RK) was grooving in the thick of her performance with a slew of hippie chicked and gothed out gals…
Then came Nas…
I (RK) was told that our host was extremely tired from his travels to get to the event, but that he was still going to drop some hip-hop that only Nas is capable of… and he sure did deliver.
The first couple of tracks were a bit rocky, as you could see that he was getting his bearings…but then he fired back with:
They shootin'!—Aw made you look You a slave to a page in my rhyme book Gettin' Big/"big" money, playboy your time's up Where them gangstas? Where them dimes at?
And the mother-fucking roof burned! It was psychotic! Every single Fauxchellian, hipster, straight edger, hippie chick, Goth chick and the rest were all rapping to the man himself word for word, lyric for lyric. It was hip-hop charged mayhem! And it was amazing! So much so that Nas responded back with spitting some sick freestyles that we all vigorously enjoyed…and then he was done.
Talk about a night to remember!
Laws Of Fauxchella: Ladies, wear comfortable shoes…walking in 5 inch stilettos on desert sand sure does make for excellent YouTube FAIL videos…
The night was slowly coming to an end and our drunk and tired bodies were needing the comforts of our beds… sadly the shuttle service was being bombarded by drunk ass amateurs who were pushing people aside to board…some even tried to beg for rides from the peculiar and out of place pimped out Maybach that drove over bad dirt hills and shrubs to pick up 3 drunken gals in tight mini skirts…poor Maybach. You shouldn’t have experienced such torture…we were sick of waiting so we walked the 2 blocks back to our car…
click HERE for Part 2...
Tip of the hat to our man Rich Kim for putting this together. and a special thanks to the three ladies that rounded out Team Fauxchella:
Nikki Spiegel, contributing writer
Kimberly Hall, contributing writer
Danielle Alvarez, guest writer