Volume 2 – Sunblock. Wear it. Please. We can’t tell you how many people we’ve seen blistering on like a Violent Femmes song. Not pretty. And it hurts like a motherfucker. Plus who can hook up when you are broiling hotter than a New England clam bake? These are a few of our favorite brands to get you tan, keep you smooth and sailing like a tropical dream.
Their funky monkey logo is pretty telling of the product. The stuff smells like bananas, coconuts, Hawaii, Jamaica, and every island fantasy you can think of. It doesn’t glob on super thick, but rather melts into your skin. The lip balm is the lip bomb. We recommend the SPF 30.
We can’t say you won’t get cancer, but we will say you’ll be tanner than that tranny midget from the Jersey Shore. Besides, at $2.99 a bottle for the travel size, it leaves plenty of cash for a pack of smokes.
Neutrogena Fresh Cooling Body Mist SPF 70: When you’re going for the long haul, and know you’ll be out in the sun all day, this stuff will protect you better than Superman’s cape. The spray nozzle makes it easy to reach those weird back areas, and it won’t get stuck in your manly man leg hair. The cooling mist feels really nice too.
Blue Lizard Australian Sunscreen SPF 30: This is great for sensitive skin and if you’re prone to breakouts. This bottled magic has titanium dioxide and zinc oxide so it won’t irritate your skin. It definitely warrants some rubbing in, which gives you an excuse to ask the cutie next standing nearby, to help you out.
Alba Botanica Hawaiian Coconut Dry Oil SPF 15: This one is for the hippy chicks. Alba’s product line is all-natural, plant based and smells terrific. The dry oil spray leaves skin feeling soft, without a greasy feeling. We recommend this poolside, when you want to impress your vegan boyfriend with your animal testing free sunblock.