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The Selfie Implosion: Does Your Phone Own You?

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The Selfie Implosion: Does Your Phone Own You?


Image Credit: Al Jazeera America

We have all taken a self portrait, aka “selfie”,  as it’s just something modern humans do. There really is nothing wrong with it, aside from that stupid fucking word that has seemed to stick and leak into the mainstream consciousness. Where the "selfie" starts to become the "insaney" is what we are here to discuss.

For the most part, you look in the mirror every morning unless you are a vampire or a homeless person… You know what the fuck you look like! Yet so many people feel the need to constantly update their social profiles with their latest and greatest sameness. Oh wow... it’s you doing the same ratchet face, at the same ratchet angle,  highlighting the beauty of the bathroom in your ratchet studio apartment... you are not really blowing anyone's mind.

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Here’s the thing- no one really gives a shit about your 100's of self portraits that all look the same - you just have 'Selfie Implosion Syndrome' a.k.a - 'SIS'.  You have become so obsessed with yourself that your phone cam now runs and ruins your life.

Congrats... you have gone beyond Narcissistic (definition below so you don’t have to Google it- as that would just take away from precious selfie time).

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Do you have SIS? Do you know someone that has SIS? Odds are the answer to at least one of those questions is yes.  But we never seem to call people out (or check ourselves) when the first signs of SIS begins to show.  We just talk shit behind the person's back rather than addressing the problem.  We should be getting them the treatment they so desperately need.  1-800-NO-SELFIE, anyone?

We shall state this for the record, it is not mentally healthy to obsess over yourself to this degree! No, bro, not even at the gym.

Group shots at parties are great; you parachuting out of an airplane, fantastic!  These are both fun moments that you want to share with your friends.  More importantly, they want to see them.  But no one really wants to see you just #ChillinAtHomeOnTuesAfternoon-  that just reminds us of how lazy and self-absorbed you truly are.

So, if you know someone with SIS, be a real friend and call them out. Say "listen, friend, you are going from strange to bat shit crazy. Everyone around you, with the exception of your creepy social media stalkers, think you have lost the plot. Grow the fuck up, act like a normal human and quit flooding social media with your selfish, basic self photos of one's basic self.  The Chainsmokers even made an anthem about how lame you are - do you really want to be 'that girl'?!".

P.S. For people that take pictures of all their food, you need to check yourself in as well unless you work for a food blog or Bon Appetit.  The pictures never really turn out appetizing, and really just come across as another desperate cry for attention - "Oh look how important I am, I'm eating this overpriced meal and you aren't. "

The definition of Narcissism, from Wikipedia-

Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity, or egotistic admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, that derive from arrogant pride. The term originated with Narcissus in Greek mythology who fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water.

Narcissism is a concept in psychoanalytic theory, introduced in Sigmund Freud's On Narcissism. The American Psychiatric Association has the classification Narcissistic personality disorder in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

Narcissism is also considered a social or cultural problem. It is a factor in trait theory used in some self-report inventories of personality such as the Millon Clinical Multiaxial Inventory.

Except in the sense of primary narcissism or healthy self-love, narcissism is usually considered a problem in a person or group's relationships with self and others. Narcissism is not the same as egocentrism.

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