What goes up, must come down is how the old saying goes...
In the case of Molly or any of her half baked half sisters, coming down is not all that awesome.
Let’s start with your classic hangover from drinking too much booze. If you go way too far you end up with your head in the toilet, a headache that feels like a railroad spike in your brain and a full day of bed rest. That’s the extreme, but more or less any severe hangover will render you pretty useless to varying degrees for 12 to 24 hours.
So more or less you give up a day for a night, pretty simple exchange that we all have made with our friend booze.
Let’s turn the page to our girl Molly, what’s that hangover like? Here are 5 things to compare it to. None of this is scientific, but based on accounts we have heard from other people, obviously...
1. A TERRIBLE BREAK UP
You feel like complete dog shit and the cherry on the top of the cake is that you have the emotional roller coaster after effects that feel like you just broke up with a long-term boyfriend/girlfriend.
You are sad, empty and feel like you’ve been hit by a truck + hangover.
2. AN EMPTY AIRPORT
You know that feeling you get when you get off a late flight and there is no one in the airport?
It’s just lonely empty space with some suicidal janitor rolling the vacuum back and forth. Imagine feeling like that for three days with that janitors lonely eyes seared in your brain and pure unfiltered emptiness + hangover.
3. JURY DUTY
We’ve all gotten that envelope in the mail that ropes us in to our civic duty of presiding over some terrible civil case… or even worse a criminal one.
The feeling that you have when you are sitting in that waiting room at 7 am with bright lights, soulless stares and broken dreams + hangover.
4. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM
Bright lights, the smell of bleach, people crying and brown carpet.
There is nothing quite like the feeling of the hospital waiting room, it’s terrifying and uncertain.
Imagine all this raw and intense anxiety with some depression mixed in for kicks + hangover.
That assortment of random people from all walks of life that look frustrated, angry and anxious in a never-ending line under fluorescent lighting.
Nothing like that hopeless feeling of being surrounded by people equally or more hopeless than you + hangover.
So you can kind of look at it like this, you have 4 hours of fun in exchange for roughly 72 hours of total misery.
For every one-hour of fun you get 18 hours of anxiety, depression, loneliness and all the hangover symptoms… exhausted, tired, headache, etc.
Seems like a pretty shitty trade if you ask us, your call.