With Mary Jane on the way to a sure-fire national legalization, it seems only fitting that we should start hypothesizing about the white devil being legal. 

Yes, that's a terrible idea but we've come up with some funny slogans just in case that powdery badness ever makes it to the shelves (w/ straw). 

Here we go:

1. Cocaine: We'll Keep You Coming Back

2. Coke: Up All Night, No Boners

3. Cocaine: What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas

4. Cocaine: Strippers Love You

5. Cocaine: Bad Decisions Made Easy

6. Cocaine: You Are Going To Need An Alibi

7. Cocaine: Meet Viagra, Your New Best Friend 

8. Cocaine: Destroying Your Career One Weekend At A Time

9. Cocaine: Because Cartel Murders Mean A Better You

10. Coke: Rick James Does It, Works Every Time

We hope you got a chuckle from our Narco humor, it's funny cause it's true. Next we will be working on our MDMA campaign, first slogan "Nothing But Hugs."

As Edward R. Murrow used to say "Good night, and good luck!"