Florida, keep being Florida. An Orlando man caught himself in quite a predicament after he stole a swan boat and was stranded in the middle of Lake Eola. He told police he took a “large quantity” of MDMA and wanted to be with the swans because “they don’t judge him.” We feel you on that my guy.
"Before [Kyle] Thurston was transported he explained he ingested a large quantity of Molly (MDMA) and wanted to be with the swans because they didn’t judge him," said the incident report according to the Orlando Weekly. "He stated he took the swan boat out onto the lake to be with the swans, and paddled it to the fountain."
He was found at around 4 a.m. screaming for help to get rescued.
This in the end is rather harmless and pure. The man just wanted to love some animals and not be judged by humans. The rental boat company has not filed charges at this time.