Skip to main content

The Creepy, Satire Coachella Craigslist Ticket Ads Have Started: You Have To Hate Diplo

Two 21-24 year-old women are being called for by a totally not creepy guy.

Every year there seems to be some wild Coachella tickets that appear on Craigslist. They are, by and large, posted by creepy dudes looking for “female accompaniment” in exchange for the tickets, but there are always stipulations of some sort. 2018 is starting off with a bang with a very special post (likely satire), but nonetheless, still quite over the top by “an electronic music producer” who has two artist passes and wants two attractive 21-24 year old girls to come with him. One main point if emphasis – they must hate Diplo.

He doesn’t want to sound like a douchebag but he is making the wild claim that his “brand of music is going to change mainstream electronic music forever.”

He needs the two women to have knowledge of electronic music and he swears he won’t be proposing any sort of sexual encounters with them. He DEFINTELY isn’t a creep. They will have a separate room in the same hotel as him. The tickets are free. He needs the women to come along to help break the ice when talking to others.

Recommended Articles

To be approved, they have to review one of his demos (good lord), and send along a photo, which will be looked at by two dudes with the deepest V-necks you have ever fucking seen in Santa Monica.

Also you have to be cool that he smokes weed and take him to afterparties if you get invites.

Here is the listing. Here is a link to pictures of shirtless Diplo. Have at it internet.  

Coachella this year will be headlined by Beyoncé, Eminem and The Weeknd. There will be plenty of electronic music like Odesza, Jamie Jones, AC Slater, Alison Wonderland, Busy P, Petit Biscuit, Maceo Plex, Soulwax and San Holo. 

Related Content