Social Media Giants Unveil New Tax On "Coming Soon" Announcements

Facebook, Twitter and Instagram have teamed up to fight fake news on their platforms against dissapointing announcements.
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Facebook, Twitter and Instagram have announced a new tax on “big news coming soon” announcements that have no context or give no indication of what is being announced. Officials at the social media services announced over the weekend that they were looking to create new sources of revenue and hoping to crack down on fake news on the site.

“Over the past year in our attempts to tackle bad actors abusing our service, we have noticed a lot of musicians who say they have ‘big news coming soon.’ When they actually announce something, it is one of the more disappointing things one will read all week. In fact, it may just be the announcement to prep the another announcement,” said one Facebook official. “In our efforts to crack down on fake news, we need to put a financial tax on those who exploit our great service.”

The tax will be $1 per “coming soon” announcement and they have come up with many different ways to try and prevent fee avoidance by also logging phrases like “big news on the way,” “can’t wait to announce soon” and “details coming soon” using machine learning algorithms and hiring a mix of promoters and budding dubstep & future bass DJs to help filter out the posts.

The tax will go into effect on July 1.

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