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Has Techno Become Too Douchey?

Techno was not meant to be elitist; it was created as the antidote to elitism and that mentality as a whole.

I'm treading on thin ice here, and maybe even a bit hypocritical to some degree, but I just don't know if I can take another scoop of this techno-elitism bullshit that has become so prevalent over the last decade or so. Not even a little tasting spoon of it! I've hit my limit of all black outfits, Berghain boners, and sub-genres of sub-genres of techno. I'm hitting the pause button and reassessing this shit.

I, like many of you, who came out of the original rave scene had a bit of a problem with the "EDM" explosion of 2010 and it's over-commercialization of a culture that had been relatively fringe until the hard-charging bro lemmings flattened it. A new generation of party hard kids was suddenly saying PLUR and claiming they were raving all while listening to what most of us considered to be a musical abortion played by posers and idiots. 

Just like that, the soul was plucked from two generations of rave culture, homogenized and marked up 200% for every newbie willing to fork over their cash. DJs stopped DJing and began practicing their fist pumps and heart-making skills. The charlatans conned the game by buying other producers tracks and claiming them as their own and festivals became massively overpriced light shows. 

Despite all that, there was still an underlying current of openness and some small sparks of OG rave culture still intact. It was almost like the secret tribes of PLUR had sent tribal elders into the scene to dispense the sacred information to lay some breadcrumbs of hope. So the spirit of rave culture continued to burn and spread almost virally through these commercial stomping grounds.

However, as things kept churning and more money and greed came at the culture like the Demogorgon from Stranger Things, things began to fracture, and defectors searched desperately for something better. What was that something? Funny (and ironically) enough it was house music and techno from Europe that became the new cool for the EDM defectors fleeing the neon dipshits who just wanted "the drop." 

Yes, we went back to where it all started, and some people were even calling it underground, which was also laughable but at the same time plausible at this point. Europe was cool; they wore fashionable clothes, they knew about the music and its history, they just got it through and through. It was easy to fall in love with Berlin and Ibiza and their (mostly) more sophisticated scene, it was just, well, cooler. 

So here is where things start to go sideways a bit and plant the seeds for the techno douchebaggery that we now have to suffer through today. This migration to house and techno was exciting at first, the kids were going to be alright after all and start digging deeper - great!  

It seemed like everything was evolving nicely, slowly but surely the EDM kids were migrating back to the mother ship to learn the origin of all this wacky culture. Unfortunately, along the way, the notion of being cooler than the other tribes started to infect these newcomers like a virus. The cult of techno was beginning to take shape with its all black uniform, deep v-neck tees, saggy future pants, and a general disdain for the "others." 

Then the techno douches starting to inbreed and inbreed some more until the population was so full of haterade that it had become a completely different culture than was ever intended. Their typical conversations became this circling paradox that just kept regurgitating itself into the feedback loop.

"I like minimal, minimal techno [MMT] with 909 kicks and only 303 Devil Fish basslines, because the other stuff is crap and not techno, you know?"  

These conversations would happen all over Berlin ad nauseam, until even the guys from Detroit were like "we out." Despite the early push back the virus kept spreading, more saggy pants were sold, deeper v's, techno vinyl only releases and the march towards becoming insufferable fuck sticks had begun. 

Here's the thing, it's ok to have an opinion about music, and it's ok if you think trance is corny, but there is a simple civility that you can afford your fellow dance music fan that is well, sorry to say, more grown up. We don't all have to get along, like the same music or wear the same shit, but the minute you start to drag the culture of elitism into the field of play - prepare to get served. 

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Techno was not meant to be elitist; it was created as the antidote to elitism and that mentality as a whole. So if this remotely sounds like you, even a little bit, it's a pretty safe assumption that most people that know you think you are an asshole. Yeah, there is a reason your other "not MMT" friends don't hang out with you anymore, they are probably hoping you go into Berghain forever. 

The moral of the story here, lighten the fuck up. It's electronic dance music, not string theory and you don't need to take it there. Hopefully, these herds of space ninjas will start to become extinct, then things will get fun again, and we can all dance together, even though we don't all like MMT.

Signs you are becoming or are a Techno Douche.

1. You think Carl Cox is too commercial.

2. You can walk through the walls of Berghain like a banshee

3. You could have been cast as an extra in Logan's Run

4. You can't talk about techno without talking down to people

5. You only buy and play vinyl

6. Your v-neck is longer than 3 inches

7. You always reference how much "cooler" Berlin is

8. You talk about 303's and 909s but really have no fucking clue what they are and who made them.

9. You think techno started in Europe

10. You talk about analog and Function One systems like an expert but don't actually know jack shit about sound

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